How on Earth will I Help Christian?

          Christian the buffoon! He had plans to meet with Roxane, but as always could not speak a single believable word of love. After he stuttered through a few too many “I love you’s” and made Roxane leave her balcony and storm into her house, I had to intercede. He begged and begged for me to teach him how to speak eloquently to her and make her love him more, but just telling him what to say simply wouldn’t do. We were able to draw Roxane from her room and out onto the balcony, but she nearly exited again when Christian spoke too haltingly. I decided at that moment to speak for him. Roxane noticed the change in voice and nearly discovered that it was in fact me, and not Christian who was speaking to her, but I covered quickly, telling her that it was merely an illusion of the night. She pleaded with me to come into the light and climb up the shrubbery onto her balcony, but I refused, knowing that she would see my face if I did so. Everything was finally turning out to be a success until Christian asked Roxane for a kiss. A kiss! I couldn’t believe his audacity, and his carelessness when he shouted up to her. Did he not understand that she would hear the difference in his voice and become suspicious especially when he tried to speak and returned to his senseless muttering? He is unbelievable! I don’t know for how much longer I can keep doing this for him. Curse him and his beautiful face for his startling lack of wit! What frustration he causes me!